You Know What to Do, So Why Isn’t It Getting Done?
You already know that budgeting matters, debt repayment matters, and saving matters. You’ve read the books. You’ve listened to the podcasts. You’ve taken in the advice.
But when it comes time to do something, the fear, overwhelm, or resistance shows up. And the gap between knowing and doing feels bigger than ever.
That space between what you know and what you do has a name; it’s called the knowing-vs-doing gap (or simply, the knowing-doing gap). It’s real, it’s frustrating, and it’s one of the main reasons so many people stall, even when they genuinely want to change.
What Is the Knowing-Doing Gap?
The concept of the knowing-doing gap was popularized by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton in their book The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action. They argued that the challenge for many organizations isn’t a lack of knowledge, but a failure to act on it.
In simpler personal terms, it’s this:
You know the right next steps — but you can’t (or won’t) take them.
Researchers see this gap across many fields. In education, for example, teachers may learn new teaching practices but fail to implement them because their training lacked follow-up support. In public health and environmental science, only a small fraction of research ever translates into real-world action (University of Wyoming Study).
So this gap isn’t a moral failing. It’s a pattern — one shaped by emotional, structural, and cognitive barriers that make doing harder than knowing.
Why So Many of Us Stall (Even When We’re “Motivated”)
If knowing isn’t the problem, what is?
Here are some of the biggest reasons this gap shows up, especially for women rebuilding after divorce or a major life change:
1. Fear and Inner Beliefs
You might fear failure, shame, or judgment. Or you might believe, deep down, that you’re “bad with money” or that something always goes wrong. Those hidden beliefs carry more weight than logic — and they often keep you from taking action.
2. Overwhelm and Fragmentation
Financial rebuilding can feel complex. When your to-do list looks endless, your brain doesn’t know where to start — so you freeze. Once you’re in this holding pattern, it can feel impossible to start again.
3. No Support Structure or Accountability
It’s one thing to say you’ll act, and another to be supported in acting. Without accountability — someone checking in and helping you course correct — it’s easy to drift further from your goals.
4. Lack of Reinforcement and Prompting
Even when you want to act, you need reminders and cues. According to BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model, consistent action requires Motivation + Ability + Prompt.
This is one reason working with a Money Coach is so powerful — you gain a customized plan for reaching your goals and support when life inevitably throws challenges your way.
5. Immunity to Change (Hidden Conflicts)
Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey introduced the idea that even when you consciously want change, your subconscious “immune system” resists it to protect old beliefs and a sense of safety.
The best way to retrain that system is by creating small, repeatable habits that support your goals — and giving yourself grace when challenges arise.
How to Bridge the Gap: Step-by-Step
Bridging the gap isn’t about pushing harder — it’s about designing your path so that doing feels natural, aligned, and sustainable. Here’s how:
1. Choose One Focus
Don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Pick one focus area for a few weeks — maybe it’s tracking spending or automating a small weekly savings amount. Small wins build momentum.
2. Make the “Why” Emotional and Anchored
Your “why” should connect deeply to your values. Maybe it’s peace of mind, proving to yourself that you can do this, or creating security for your children. When your actions reflect your why, they become acts of self-honoring.
3. Break It Down into Tiny Moves
If “create a budget” feels too big, break it down into steps:
- List all recurring bills.
- Track last week’s spending.
- Set one category limit.
Each micro-action builds confidence.
4. Add Prompts and Reminders
Use alarms, sticky notes, or apps — anything that helps your future self take action. These little nudges turn “I’ll do it later” into “I did it today.”
5. Build in Reflection and Adjustment
At the end of each week, ask:
What worked? What didn’t? What felt hard and why?
Reflection keeps you learning instead of judging yourself.
6. Seek Safe Accountability or Coaching
Having someone in your corner — a coach, mentor, or friend — strengthens your consistency. Accountability helps you celebrate progress and redirect when you slip.
7. Invite Failure and Learn from It
Progress isn’t perfect. If you stumble, learn and keep moving. The only real failure is quitting.
What This Looks Like in Financial Rebuilding
Let’s make this real for a woman rebuilding after divorce or another major life shift:
- You know you should build an emergency fund.
- But your inner voice whispers that there’s never enough or that money always slips away.
- You choose a small focus: “Save $20 per week automatically.”
- You tie it to your why: “So I never feel one crisis away from losing stability.”
- You set a prompt: a recurring alert every Friday morning.
- You have a coach or friend check in monthly to ask, “How’s your savings going? How close are you to your goal?”
- When you miss a week, you reflect: What stopped me? Is the amount too high? Do I need to adjust?
- You repeat this process until it becomes automatic.
Over time, action becomes less about forcing and more about flow. You start trusting yourself again — and that’s where the magic happens.
Why Doing Is Also Healing
Doing your financial work isn’t just about numbers — it’s about rebuilding self-trust. Every time you check your budget, track your spending, or stick to a plan, you’re proving to yourself that you can do this.
You’re showing yourself that you are capable, worthy, and resilient. In that sense, financial action isn’t only practical — it’s profoundly healing.
Steps You Can Take Right Now
Here are five “bridge steps” to help you start closing your own knowing-doing gap:
- Pick one small financial task (track a bill, open a “rainy day” fund, or categorize last week’s spending).
- Write down why you’re doing it (beyond “because I should”).
- Schedule a reminder or nudge (on your phone, planner, or sticky note).
- Choose someone to share your goal with (a coach, friend, or your journal).
- Reflect at week’s end, celebrate your wins, and learn from what tripped you up.
Final Thoughts
The knowing-doing gap isn’t about not caring or not being capable. It’s about learning to turn insight into action — gently, consistently, and without shame.
If you’re ready to move from knowing what to do to actually doing it, start with the Confidently Solo Guide. It’s designed to help you rebuild your financial life after divorce or transition, one empowering step at a time.